Netball finals was a bummer. We lost by 6 points to HCJC. After which I vowed to smack the living daylights out of HC on the lanes. I guess by now you can probably tell I hate losing. Yes, a clear flaw within me. However I choose to see it as competitiveness. It is through this that real perseverance and pure determination spring to life. But what struck me most on that day was the disappointment that was in the air. It was almost tangible. Being a sportsman not from ACS(i),
i know exactly how it feels. The thwarting spear that rips a hole in your heart, the uncontrollable tears, all of it..Seemed all too familiar. It then dawned on me that this is how it could turn out on the 21st of May.... Well done eugene, you've just added a ton of pressure on your back. Maybe I'm thinking too much. Too skeptical. A lack of confidence maybe. But the fear and total distaste of defeat drives me to feel this way. I can almost picture myself if we lose..I'll be reduced to a sobbing duck, wailing and kicking every dustbin in my way. Well, I had a taste of that feeling during training just now. We had simulation. So we were supposed to treat it exactly like the tournament day. Man was I all ready to go....Practice throws went well..Found my line and was confident of spares. But for some reason..When the games started..I could not think. I was lost. I froze! I bowled a 150+ average in the end which totally blew my top. HOW?! WHY?! I had it all in control! Now I'm scared. As in shit scared. I feel like my entire world of 200 averages came crashing down on me. Joshua then tried to calm me down by blaming the lanes..Which got me laughing. But I felt it tonight. The same feeling which haunted me 2 years ago. Sigh...This is really getting to me.

Quote: " Win what HCJC....HCJC girls also cannot win lar...."