I have reached the conclusion that no one will fully understand how I feel. No one will know the big black monster inside me I want to kill. Its like being drunk and not able to control what you feel, say or do. I constantly wonder if people will treat me any different if I was normal. Sometimes I wish I knew what they thought, felt and said about me..But then again..Ignorance is bliss. I'm scared. I think its reached a point where I no longer want to be normal again. That I've somehow accepted that this is who I am and what I've been made to be. Today I declare. The world is against me.