i like pictures. simply because they're pretty and deceitful, and make you believe the best in everything. the best- that i assure you- does not and will probably never exist.but then again, i'm not exactly entitled to being moronically over dramatic. so perhaps i ought to sit around and mope, think about what could be that will not be, what should be that simply is not. and of course, do all this in quiet, far away from the scrutinizing eyes of all you unwelcome bloghoppers.
i never truly understood the concept of bloghopping, why anyone really would want to read about the life of someone they don't know very well, if at all. perhaps its the whole idea of hoping they will find some happywappy whisked into the sunset type story to gawk at and wish was their own. but anyway, hope is generally overrated and unnecessary. there was this advertisment at the bus stop "you can't survive on a diet of hope" or something like that. which is potentially very true. at this point in my not very fascinating, not very interesting life, ithink that hope is largely a figment of your imagination. right now, it would be so damn simple to imagine getting 3 As, to imagine living in love, always and forever (a phrase that is cliche and false on so many different levels). and naturally, we all know that hope in these cases, will do absolutely no good. in fact, what would help you succeed is probably the exact opposite of stupid, god damned foolish idea of hope- the impure form of cheating, lying, being a hypocritical bastard/bitch. (all of which im sure everyones quite damn proficient at).
frankly, i think the whole concept of cheating, lying and whatnot is really not so much about the unkindness, rather than it is about the fairness. yesterday i saw a man (oh big whoop). i saw this same man last week, with his wife and three children. this week he was again accompanied by a woman- except she wasn't his wife, relative or friend. this of course meant he spent the whole night, in between guzzling heiniken, begging those around not to tell wife about it. and whilst joking about how interesting it would be to see a fight if his wife showed up- it remained perfectly clear that his scandal was in fact not merely unkind, but also unfair. and then i felt bad, for his poor wife, probably clueless about the whole issue, probably thinking her dear devoted husband was working late, tired. the poor dumb wife probably waiting up for him (it wasn't even like they weren't sweet the week before), waiting to console him. and then i thought about his kids, who probably (being at that young, tender, stupid age), respecting- even looking up to him. and i thought, this is simply unfair. unfair to them, to be lied to intentionally. which then makes me realise how the problem with lying is less the falsity, than it is the unjustification. because to love someone and to believe they are truly the one- and this is not to say its not understandable that you might be interested or even attracted to someone else, the least you can do is to admit it. unless of course, you've already by some great willpower managed to lie to yourself. which then i suppose is the excuse most people use, right before they are drawn into them tempting and unresistable situations.
but now i sound bitter, which i am not. not really anyway, since i do believe many things have worked out for the best. all i can say is that maybe i hope (knowing how idealistic it is) never to be caught in such a situation. but knowing things like this happen all the time, i'd better learn to embrace rather than to reject it.
